Home

"I am going home..." Home... where is home? There's a saying which goes, "Home is where the heart is". So, where is our heart? Some... hearts are with their family. So, I guess their home should be where their families are. Some... hearts are with where their physical houses are for example, like me who has bought a place of my own. So, for these, their homes are the houses under their names. To some... hearts are with God... then home is where God is.

I have written previously about the passing on of Aunty Ruby. I have not even the chance to write a tribute to her... and now another friend, Connor, has passed on. Aunty Ruby passed on due to old age... a failing heart and diabetes. Connor... the deadly disease - cancer. But before I proceed on, I would like to paste an email sent by one of my CG member about one father's love for his child. My CG member, Dr. Felicia (Feli, if you are reading this... I hope you don't mind me repeating the story here... with a little bit of editing), is a palletic doctor i.e. a doctor who "treats" dying patients. Here goes...

"I saw a patient last week. She is an 18years old girl with brain tumour. When I saw her, she is dying and I spent a long long time with her father. Her father is a businessman and he has taken off to care for this young girl. Dad and Mom takes turn to sleep in her room to make sure she is comfortable.

I saw some pictures of hers in the living room. Lovely lovely girl. So young, energetic and hopefully, if given a chance she will grow up into a woman every man would love to date. We ( dad and me start to chat). A very casual conversation - how has it been? how's the family...then we got deeper...He started telling me about his daughter...that instant his eyes just twinkled..he told me about his gutsy little girl, someone who has little fear, someone who like to play jokes on the family...someone who understand what life is about.. We shared about her likes and dislikes, her hope, her dreams...and then suddenly there is silver lining in her dad's eye...he cried and cried...he grieved for her daughter...lost dreams, lost future, lost hope...he grieves for himself..losing a daughter, a friend, a family..

He says he got to know her daughter so well in the past year, through the illness, he knew how strong and persistent she has become and how it has influenced him as well. Never a word of complaint from her, not even when she is in pain. Once he caught her crying in her room alone, she was in severe pain and yet not a single complaint to her family. It broke his heart. He begs her to let him know if it's hurting...how can he live knowing his lovely daughter is suffering in so much pain.

Then our conversation journeyed to present. I asked if he wish to record some memories so that when she is gone, he and his family have something to hold on to. He smiled...he said, he is a family man..every year, he takes 1 month off from work and go travelling with his family and they have make many memories...photos, video, he has more than enough to remember..and he says his heart will continue to miss her every single day...besides, her daughter does not want any photos now...not since she lost all her hair, not since there is an operation scar on her head, not since she lost so much weight even a strong wind can blow her away...her family respect her wish..

One thing, one thing dad asked me to help him...please keep my daughter pain free. Let her go when it's time but keep her comfortable. Watching her in her sleep, a frail little body, I personally do not know how much I could do, but i promised him that I will try my best..dad smiled, mom smiled but deep in my heart i know, no matter what i do...they hearts have already been broken...seeing their little girl dying in front of them

I have seen so many death...I have heard so many stories...experienced so many grieves...sometimes I wonder what is there for me when it's my turn...don't know..really do not know...but that day, I've learnt about a father's love for her daughter...a truly pure and wonderful love in the midst of pain..."

That's the story of a dying child and a father's love... what really touched me was the father's request... "to let her go when it's time".

Now back to Connor... I don't know much about Connor but I do know that he was a God-fearing and God-loving man. I know... He did not stopped serving the Lord fervently in spite of his illness. I know... his earthly father loves him very very much as well. I know... he is much loved and cherished by friends in church. I know... one thing which is different and very real... is the love of Abba Father for Connor... He loves Connor so much that He has taken him home to be with Him... free from pain and suffering... and envelopes him with much love and joy in His presence and in the mansion which He has prepared for this beloved child of His, Connor.

Yeah... that's the consolation which each child of God has when on earth when we are facing the death of loved ones and our own. We will see our loved ones and friends again... only one thing left to be done while we are still on earth in order for us to see our loved ones and friends again in heaven... by ensuring our loved ones and friends have God in their hearts... and we ourselves continue to serve Him fervently and ensuring God is always in our hearts.

See you again... Connor...