Weird Unpleasant Feeling

Seriously... this is a rather weird and unpleasant feeling I am going through now. My parents are not getting younger... in fact, anytime I might lose them. I believe what I am going through now with my parents in UK holidaying and unreachable is going to be how it is going to be like when they are gone for good. They are actually reachable... I just need to call my bro's handphone. But it is different when having them in Sitiawan. Easy and cheap. Funny that now I think calling sitiawan is easy and cheap when I don't call them as often as I should. Sometimes twice per week or once per week. Heck... my dad holds a sub-line from me and for me to call his hp is free. I should be calling them everyday. But I am not.

Now, with them so far away... I am kinda going through moments of "I miss my mom" and "I miss my dad". I wish to pick up the phone and call them... hear their voice. This must be how it is going to be when I really lose them for good next time. Memory of a joke which we siblings had when we were younger and still in school - My sis likes to talk a lot and she just loves chatting with my mom. So, we had this joke once that when my mom passes away next time, her coffin must be place above ground and easily accessible. So that whenever she wants to talk to mom, she just need to go there, open the door and push out the coffin and starts talking. I know... bad and dumb joke.

Now thinking of it, brings tears to my eyes. This is seriously depressing. When they are really gone for good, I won't be able to call them at all. No dad to plant plants for me. No dad to make me luncheon meat sandwich for me to bring to work (when they come down to KL to visit). Won't be hearing dad calling my name in his own special tone. No mom to give her opinion on my clothing (yup... I have to admit she has much better fashion sense than me). No mom to make me my healthy oats for breakfast. No mom to buy me my essential supplements (she is more concern for my skin, facial and well being than myself). Won't hear her laughter which is more contagious than mine (for those who had experienced my unstoppable gift of laughter, my mom beats me 101%).

Sigh... folks... better appreciate your parents while they are still around. Death indeed is a taboo issue but it is unavoidable. This is one relationship which I do not want to live with regret for the rest of my life.

Dear Lord, please give me as much time as possible with my parents... for me to appreciate them, honour them and love them and for them to be showered with all these and know that they are truly appreciated, honoured and loved. Please Lord... I want them to leave this world knowing and experiencing all the love and care from us, their children. For after this life, there are no more chances for us children to be children to our parents. In Jesus most precious name I pray, Amen.